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[ LETTERS ] I never sent.'s Journal [entries|friends|calendar]
[ LETTERS ] I never sent.


You need a friend, I'll be around. Don't let this end before I see you again. What can I say to convince you to change your mind of me? I'm gonna love you more than anyone. I'm gonna hold you closer than before and when I kiss your soul, your body will be free. I'll be free for you anytime. I'm gonna love you more than anyone. Look in my eyes, what do you see? Not just the color, look inside of me. Tell me all you need and I will try, I will try. - More Than Anyone, Gavin Degraw
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B, [Tuesday
October 13th, 2009 at 11:48am]

I'm in love with you. I have been for ages. Back in spring when I made my confession, I hadn't found the courage to admit it yet, but I was already in love with you then. It's only grown. I treasure your friendship more than words can express. But there is so much more...

You fill me with so much passion, so much longing, so much lust. You make my knees weak, you make my heart race. Sometimes the very thought of you is enough to leave me dizzy with desire. I see you and you make me so fevered and breathless, and I can't imagine how you can look in my eyes and not see all the things I am thinking. I suppose you don't because you never blush...

I want to take you to heights of ecstacy you've never dreamt of, to unleash your every desire, to bathe us both in all the passion that I can see in you. But it's more than passion, more than desire. I want to build you up, help you heal your hurts, help you battle your demons. I want to help you fill that small, deep, achingly silent and empty space I know you have inside you (because we are too much alike for you not to have it, too). I want to make sure you never, ever, feel old, even when you're in your nineties. I want my eyes to be the mirror in which you always see just how amazing, vital, dynamic, powerful, and sexy you are. I want to make you feel ten feet tall every day.

I know in all likelihood I will never be able to give you all those things. But what I can give you is the knowledge that I want to; gods, I want to! I can give you the knowledge of what you mean to me, the knowledge of all that I feel for you. It may not be much of a gift, but it's all and only for you.

October 31st, 2008 at 10:32pm]


they say i'm falling in love at the absolute wrong time.
i totally agree.
off tangent.


August 1st, 2008 at 10:57am]
the sound of your voice was like my favorite record playing over and over. it was just something beautiful, i loved every word you ever fed to me. i danced around your thoughts and in your bedroom. those late nights, empty watermelon smirnoff bottles you bought for me. sleeping all close, the only place i ever felt safe. you took all the broken parts of me and made them feel whole again. without even telling you much, you understood me. and i understood you. you took my anxiety attacks, crying, family mess and gave me your love. and that's all i ever needed. i knew you were leaving. i didn't care. all i needed was your love and i'd be fine. yeah, i'd be fine. then your reassuring voice started to fade. my favorite record had a scratch and it just wasn't as good. we started fighting.. and i couldn't feel anything anymore. there's times when life calls out for a change. like the seasons. our spring was wonderful, but summer is over now and we missed out on autumn. & now all of a sudden, it's cold, so cold that everything is freezing over. our love fell asleep, and the snow took it by surprise. but if you fall asleep in the snow.. you don't feel death coming.

take care,
i'll always remember what we had.

MOD POST [Monday
December 10th, 2007 at 12:32am]
First, I just really want to say "THANKS" to you guys that actually make an effort to keep this place alive. I haven`t been a very good mod with maintaining things, so I can see why things are kinda dead.
I`m gonna be taking some time out to promote and edit my layout in hopes that things will be alive again and soon. I just ask that you guys please help me promote, I still think this community is a good place to vent and say what`s on your mind. I will be looking for another mod to help me out. Again, thanks to you all that acutally update and check on things. ♥

To the boy who made me feel alive;; [Saturday
November 24th, 2007 at 3:07am]

[ mood | depressed ]

Dear Boy Who Made Me Feel Alive,
   It's been about three weeks since you left me, and I still miss you more than anything. I wish I knew what made you leave me, but I feel so empty without you. All the promises you made to me have dimenished into nothing, and most of the time I feel like I can't survive, let alone breathe without you. I often wonder if you found another girl, but it hurts to much to imagine you looking into someone elses eyes they way you looked into mine. All I want to know is, where is my explanation? Why wont you tell me what happened to you? What happened to us? Saying that your feelings just changed doesn't work after two and a half years. And to make love to me the day before...that's what gets me the worst. You weren't like everyone. You were special. Gentle. Understanding. And now if I even try to talk to you, you give me a 'fuck off' attitude. I just don't understand why you would do this to me. I gave you everything and more, and you were perfect as well. People change, feelings change, I know all this, but how does this give you the right to be mean to me? To ignore me. To tell me that I wasn't good enough for you anymore. How could you look in the mirror every day knowing you broke the one person who ever gave you a chances' heart. I wonder if you think about me. I know I shouldn't say this, but I would do anything to call you baby, and tell you I love you. But it's over, I know. I just wish that the promises you whispered in my ear were kept. I wish the feeling of your kisses would reapear on my lips like they never left. I wish you hadn't left me depressed and completley alone to sit and fucking think about you.I wish I never met you. I wont sign this love, because I don't even know you anymore.
The stereotypical heart broken girl who doesn't want to wake up anymore.


November 19th, 2007 at 10:24pm]

i don't want this community to be dead anymore.

write more letters guys =]

if you want, mods, i can help get it up and running again...

i love this community, and i miss it being active.

dear everyone that i have ever wroten off in my life, [Monday
June 4th, 2007 at 4:44pm]

dear boy that made me shake and sweat and stutter,
thank you for making me realize that there are people in the world who think that they're better than everyone else. thanks for letting me know how a broken heart feels and for making me feel like i didn't deserve a low life like you.

dear old friend that i used to drink smirnoff with at work,
thank you for making me realize that true friends are hard to find. and the only permanent people in anybody's world half of the time is usually just family...and some people don't even have that. thanks for making me feel like one of the most beautiful things that could ever have happened to me such as having a baby was one of the worst thing's that could have ever of occured. thank you for making me appreciate what is real in my life.

dear one night stand,
i'm sorry, i didn't mean to be bitch. i didn't mean to be a whore. i didn't mean to make you my sin. i am no sinner. i hope to God you know that she is not yours.

dear valentine,
you disgust me. i hate your guts.

dear dirt from the night of the skirt,
you are just a boy that i kissed, nothing more.

dear me,
i miss you.

May 24th, 2007 at 8:51am]

Dear 'T',

So C confirmed my worst fears the other night... you are still hung up on E. I guess I shouldn't be shocked or suprised I have liked you almost as long as you have liked her.

You annoy me sometimes, can't you see that she is just a tease and that she gets her kicks off of lead you and the others along... giving you hope then dumping you like trash?


i'm new here. [Tuesday
May 22nd, 2007 at 6:30pm]

[ mood | thoughtful ]

and so her heart is laid out again.
waiting for you to take it.
the decision is something that is desperately wanted
yet, she is willing to fake it.
we've played this song for a year or so now
the song you opt to skip
her cd has so many scratches
and your her dj behind the turntables.

© Alexis C.

a poem i wrote back in september of 06.
it semi-applied recently, but that feeling is gone, again.


May 21st, 2007 at 7:48pm]

Dear  "T",

How could you do this to me again... Just when I thought I had almost gotten over me you do something that brings the pain right back. 

You hurt me so much Saturday night, it felt like my heart was being torn into a million pieces... I know that you meant your words to give me hope, and M had no clue what he was starting, but you knew... I still don't know how you found out but you know all the same. Do you remember what you said to me? you said "Don't worry there is someone out there for everyone... you'll find him." You know that I so wish that you were my "him". It hurt me even more when you started talking about your sad love life... I'm not sure who exactly you were talking about I just pray that it wasn't E, even though deep down in my heart I know it was.

I almost burst into tears on the train ride back to N's... I am not sure wether you heard it or not but I sure did. It wasn't really S's fault I had only talked about our situation to him once (and that was four weeks ago) and he was slightly drunk. He said to you that if you needed someone that I was here. It was a joke but I just looked at him and shook my head, he got the message straight away and I knew he felt so bad.

It just hurts everytime I am around you, I can't even look you in the eye anymore. I can't talk to you about it though because you have only just started talking to me again. The are times, like when we were sitting in the back of R's car, when it is so uncomfortable between us that I can barely breathe... and then there are times, like when you were on the ground in N's backyard throwing up after drinking too much that i just want to hold you in my arms and be held back... even though I know it will never happen.

I do have to thank you for one thing though, when you kissed everybody goodbye when you left C's party you kissed me goodbye aswell, unlike last time.

Sometimes I just wish I was stronger so this wouldn't hurt.

from R.

p.s It is still bizzarre to me that even though in my dreams we get married we are never happy or stay together long...

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